I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
