Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
