just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
