So drunk its hurt
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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