Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
