kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
