nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
