I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
