Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Little spoons don't ask big questions
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
