I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
