haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
