weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
