dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize