I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Text me some of your sweat
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
