So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
