it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
