long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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