My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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