uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
