Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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