Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
