I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
