I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
