I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
