I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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