I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
