Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
