she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
