Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize