Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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