trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
