I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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