Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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