So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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