Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
