laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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