The maid of honor just puked.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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