wat bout pragnant strippers??
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize