areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
