my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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