if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
