sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
