Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize