ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
