are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
