third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
