YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Randomize
