I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
