fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
