very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
