God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize