i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
