He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
