Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
