i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Randomize
