There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
