I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize
