Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Green mimosas i think yes
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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