She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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