I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
this will be a night to untag.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
