And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
