I hate all girls vehemently.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
