No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
