why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
